You know how it goes. The Twitter struggle gets more real every single day fam. So I do's what I does, and I address it. Peep my commandments.
1. Thou shalt not spam
Look here rapper...I really need you to keep your struggle out of my mentions. What kind of bagel did you eat to make you think that you can just drop a luke-warm struggle track on me like that? Why do you think someone is just gonna listen to a random song from an artist they've never heard of? It just doesn't work like that. Chill fam. If your music is good, you won't have to disrespect me, or any of your followers like that. It'll spread itself.
2. Thou shalt not ramble via web
We all have that beautiful light skinned chick that's posts 4 thirst traps a week, and tweets 140 characters of absolutely nothing. That's just fact. Pretty girls by far have the worst tweets on the TL....But to be torturing us via web? Not even cool. Tweetdeck is available. You'll still tweet about nothing, but at least it's less overkill and we can't tell that you're sitting all by your lonesome at the desktop.
3. Don't stalk thy neighbor
This is not a horror movie my nigga. Imma need ya'll to chill sending harassing BBM's about a tweet, and you don't even have an account. That's just ridiculous. Same for people that have accounts and have been blocked. You were blocked for a reason fam. The next step would be to protect tweets, but real thugs don't do that.
4. Respect thine mentions
Don't EVER jump in my mentions typing with hard fingers disagreeing with something I said. I don't even care fam. That'll get you a "oh" response. Or my favorite....no reply at all. I know ya'll feelings be hurt or whatever but I could care less. Peoples mentions aren't the place to shed twitter tears. Wipe those on your shirt.
5. Don't announce new avi's
Yo we REALLY don't even care. Not even a little bit. I promise we'll see you have a "new avi" if you would just tweet. WE WILL NOTICE. Fishing for thirst-liments. I mean, compliments. "New avi. I might not keep it tho." We don't care. As long as you're not a struggle egg you're good. Nobody likes the egg, and nobody cares about your new avi. Just know that.
6. Don't 4Square every location
You 4square niggas really need to chill tweeting exact whereabouts and you're only at the post office. I'm just waiting for one of ya'll to slip up and show that you're at the sidechicks house eating twizzlers. The Feds (females) are watching fam. They're watching. Showing your location is just another way to take a L out here. But if you get caught because of this, I'm just gonna assume you still wear Air Force 1's.
7. Thou shalt not sell a soul for RT's
Recycled tweets ass niggas. iRespectFemales ass niggas. Ya'll gotta chill all the way out. That shit is just thoroughly uncalled for. Who knows how many absolute sluts have infected those tweets that you continue to post. And in all reality, it's not even that serious fam. At all. Not even a little. You thought it was, but it's not. Nope.
8. Don't murder hashtags
#you #dont #have #to #hashtag #every #word #my #nigga. Regular ass words tho. What's the real life point? Niggas like "I'm #posted jus chillin at the #crib." I'm reporting you niggas as spam off rip.
9. Thou shalt not tweet via txt
I've asked people why they tweet via txt, and the main response I get is "I don't have unlimited data". That's just ridiculous. You don't have wifi at the crib? It's 2011 my nigga, and real thugs have wifi. Shooting of tweets via txt HAS to be quite lonely. All by yourself. No tweets to read. And if you are reading tweets, they're sent to your phone and that's considered stalking.....
10. Thou shal NOT RT fake pages
How can people really not tell that these fake pages, ARE FAKE PAGES? The fake Big Sean page lights my TL up all day everyday. Females that RT fake pages are hoes. Flat out. You can't expect to be married by 25 and you out here retweeting fake pages. It's just not gonna happen.
There you have it. 10 Twitter Commandments to adhere by. That new iPhone 5 and the Concord XI's are dropping soon. Both are a must cop if you niggas plan on getting any pussy this winter season. Hit me up on Twitter obviously, and it'd be appreciated if some cute females swindled into my DM's. I promise I won't call you thirsty. I'm out.
And remember, if she ain't giving up the neck at least twice a day she doesn't love you. #FACT
