What up what up. This past week Michigan has shown us how serious her menstrual cycle can be. It's cold outside fam. This weather has caught everyone off guard, including me. I found myself waking up from a nap that I didn't willingly take. Yeah, it's that real out here. I'm sure all the young breezys are prepared to break out the uggs and leggings, and the homies are ready to bring out that fresh Northface they just bought while waiting for Aubrey's next album.
But anyway...........the real topics at hand.
First, let me start off by saying, THE THIRST IS REAL. It's really real. All day long I see females post welcoming twitpics, and niggas fall for it. Every Single. Time. This is what I like to call a "thirst trap". Don't fall for these. Don't even RT the picture. If you really wanna get at her, tweet her when she's obviously lonely because someone stole her pillow pet.
Another thing. DM's are by invitation only. You're setting yourself up for the ultimate KILL if you just swan dive into a random girls DM's. Not only will she hoe you, but her next post will be "Please get this thirst out of my DM's." You don't want that. If you do this, please stop. You're messing it up for other niggas that already had eight glasses of water for the day, and just want casual conversation without the fear of being labeled as thirst. This shit is really getting out of hand. Some of you niggas haven't even washed your face yet and you're firing off mass thirst DM's. C'mon fam.
But ay, I swear on everything being lonely is the latest trend. All day, every day there's nothing but lonesome souls on my TL. WHY DON'T THEY HAVE A HOBBY?! Read a book. Call a friend. I don't care. DO SOMETHING. Being lonely isn't healthy. Next time a lonesome female crosses paths with a stray animal, imma need her to rescue it. Or maybe it'd be rescuing her............
Bullshitters. This is a touchy subject, and can be defined in many ways. If a female gets labeled as a bullshitter, it's because she's selling false hope with the vag. Off rip. Plain and simple. You can't set up missions, then when it's time for the objective "Oh, I got somewhere else I need to be." NAH. That's a 3rd degree penalty right there. Expect to get ignored. Seems harsh and what not but, you can't play with niggas testosterone like that.
Cuffing season is rapidly approaching, and I hope you niggas know what to look for. I really pray ya'll do. In case you don't, this is what I'm here for....... If she has more than three "teams" in her bio, YOU DONT WANT THAT. Your response should be "nah". If she can listen to an entire Webbie CD without feeling offended, YOU DON'T WANT THAT. Studies show that female Webbie fans are the cause of domestic violence 80% of the time. #FACT. If a female tells you a story about how she had a good time at Tiki's last week, YOU DONT WANT THAT. She's a hoodie mouse. If she has more than 1,000 followers YOU DON'T WANT THAT. It's guaranteed that she has a 2K11 roster full of niggas with all the skills at 99. She'll cheat on you every Tuesday.
Black Mamba aka @KobeBryant blessed the Twitter streets last night with his presence. Now, he may make some terrible shoes, but he'll go for 81 wearing moccasins fam. No contest.
I was kinda hoping this was a joke, but dude seemed serious. Lil Bossie? Oh.
#swag
I'm outta here tho. Remember that we have spellcheck for a reason. I don't want to have to retweet, and make a trending topic out of you. Ya'll know I had to make a #seen last week....So yeah, spellcheck fam.
Oh I almost forgot to warn ya'll....You know that ONE guy in the club pic without a bottle in his hands? He's a rapist.
